To expect or not to expect?

“The best things in life are unexpected – because there were no expectations.”

How would you define the feeling of expectation? Something that you really want, or are definite about would happen or should happen. Expectation is probably one of the first few feelings we learn. As a child we expect our parents to be around, as a teenager we expect from our friends and vice versa, as an adult our families expect from us and throughout the life span there are these ‘expected’ behaviours. Some people have high expectations, some low, but when high expectations are not met – then “we have a problem”.

“Expectations”…and believe me it never ends between me and my friend..
The very first question that arises is- What exactly is expectation??
Well as far as i feel “it is to believe that other person will do something without even telling that person that he/she has to do that thing”.It is such an irony that many times it happens also…cos expectations are made on the basis of past experiences…it is build on the past actions/reactions of the individual..but when belief doesn’t comes true it hurts the person very badly…
Our life is full of expectations either we are expecting something from the other or someone else is expecting something from us…
The very basic expectation arises between a child and his/her parents…both of them have their own expectation from each other..and this forms a strong bonding between them…and here the relation develops…and then different feelings of love,anger, happiness everything comes into existence…
When we are small we are taught so many things..after the things have been taught it is automatically expected out of us…and if we dont do it we even get punished for that..And this teaches us to fulfill other expectations..his thing continues in our whole life..Similar expectation always exist..even we also form the similar expectations…
It is the expectations that help us gain so many things in our life..It makes us a perfect person in whatever we do..the higher the expectations the better the result..A very famous quotation “Always aim for the sky, even if you miss you will land among stars”
It is so true and helps us in achieving our goals…Our goals are nothing but the expectations of ours from ourselves..
We start developing expectation from everyone we come through..We have expectations from our teacher, our friends, our colleagues and moreover we always expect general etiquettes from everyone(consciously or unconsciously)… Even if we meet any stranger and say hello to him we expect him to reply back…if he/she doesn’t replies we dont like it..
When expectations are not fulfilled it results in all the negative waves inside us..We started complaining, feeling bad, hating and everything…At extreme cases it results in conflicts also..
The question that arises is why do we get hurt when someone doesn’t fulfill our expectations…Can we really stop expecting in our life…?And how to control negative feelings when doesn’t fulfill our expectations…
As far as i feel its all our creation and destruction..So it can be controlled by us..

So should we not have expectations? Yes, people and books say that we shouldn’t, but how not to have expectations? In love, people say never expect – and you’ll be the happiest. But how, not to expect something when your boy friend or husband has set a certain standard and then suddenly lowers it? Or, if you’ve always been good in studies and then suddenly you end up under performing when you did not expect it. Or, how your best friend cheated on you by dating your boy friend, and again, you expected her not to do it? So the question is how do we ever know when to expect and when not to. Or, is it wrong to have a certain amount of expectation from yourself or others? And if it is wrong, then why so?

I think, I’ve listed down too many questions and am still wandering about the answer. Were you expecting me to list down the solution by now? I hope not, because even if you were, I’m not sure I have this answer. It seems to me, that expectation is more of a phenomenon than a feeling that happens every time and anytime two people or situations in life come in contact. Whether it is a general conversation, behavior, academic result, relationship or even food! People, who say, don’t expect anything, have either given up hope or are hopeless anyway. To have expectations is being hopeful, and one must always be hopeful. So one must have expectations but probably, not too high to be on a safer side ;) . But again, who can ever measure the expectations? Can you????????????

 


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About Arun Mishra

“We often becomes what we believes ourself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” SO, “If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don't care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, in my book we're gonna be winners. Because "I feel like my wings are finally coming back. They were broken, and there was a point where I thought I was confined to this earth. But I feel like they're back now. And I'm excited to fly again. And sure, there are going to be bad and tough times. I can easily see them now but that's not a reason to stay on the ground. Everyone has to fall sometime but no matter how long it takes you, you eventually get tired of dragging your feet through the mud, and you get up and find your wings have healed and they ache to fly again. So I'll fly, I'll fall, I'll get back up, and I'll live."
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