A Promise to My Friends..(Good Story)

A life well lived happens in the context of relationships. I’m convinced of that. God designed humans to be in community with one another. That’s why food tastes better when shared with friends and a beautiful sunset experienced with a loved one stays with you forever. But successful marriages, partnerships, or friendships need attention and even what I call “relational promises.” These set of values or promises help me frame my commitment to family and friends in a way that holds me accountable to my end of the relationship. One of the most important promises I make my friends is to always give them the benefit of the doubt. A true friend will defend, uphold and protect publicly, but question privately.

A promise to my friends

We all have been there–during a conversation a salient tidbit of gossip comes up about a friend who’s not present. Sometimes it’s an accusation by someone who’s been hurt. We have a split second to react. We can nod and agree, we can ignore what’s being said and move on, or we can defend our friend, not matter the verdict of the popular vote.

Years ago I failed a friend by not coming to his rescue during a heated discussion with a group who felt wronged by him. My rationale for keeping my mouth shut was based on the convincing “facts” of the conversation that eventually turned out to be bogus. I chose not to engage the accusers and my silence was an indictment of my friend as far as everyone in the room was concerned.

I remember the disappointment I felt in myself as I confronted my friend with the accusations and heard his side of the story. I felt awful. By being silent I was not being neutral. By not defending a loved one, I shamefully agreed with the mob and failed to do what true friends do: believe the best about those you love.

My promise to my friends is to believe the best in them, to defend them publicly, and to always give them the benefit of the doubt. But I also promise to question and confront them privately in order to make sure they haven’t fallen and need my help getting back up. That’s when you really need a good friend.





About Arun Mishra

“We often becomes what we believes ourself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” SO, “If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don't care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, in my book we're gonna be winners. Because "I feel like my wings are finally coming back. They were broken, and there was a point where I thought I was confined to this earth. But I feel like they're back now. And I'm excited to fly again. And sure, there are going to be bad and tough times. I can easily see them now but that's not a reason to stay on the ground. Everyone has to fall sometime but no matter how long it takes you, you eventually get tired of dragging your feet through the mud, and you get up and find your wings have healed and they ache to fly again. So I'll fly, I'll fall, I'll get back up, and I'll live."
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